Women of the Church

*I wrote this to the women at a church we were attending in response to criticism directed towards my wife.


I am writing this as a concerned husband who wants to share his heart with you not to defend a heart. My wife, Kara, has felt a call upon her heart to share from her own very personal experiences with the women of our church. I has been a long process of her getting to the point where she feels comfortable stepping out to open some previous wounds and hurts in the hopes that she could help at least one other person not make the same mistakes we have made in our relationship. In doing so I cautioned her to be careful because when you open yourself to help others you also open yourself to be hurt by others.

Kara has, up to this point, shared two writings with this church and has many more on her heart to share. After the last writing she shared there were several responses both positive and negative to her viewpoint. This is expected and Kara and I continually pray on how we are to handle both situations. What was not expected were the responses that came across as personal attacks with reference to demonic influences and/or satanic lies in her writing. Because of this I have advised Kara to be very cautious of who she shares her writing with. Some of you have asked to continue to receive the writings and I want to personally thank you for the encouragement you have bestowed upon my wife by allowing her to share her heart without condemning her for her viewpoint.

Everyone comes from a different place and experiences that shape how we relate to others and how we respond when threatened. I am aware that in sharing writings, preaching a sermon or leading a home group we are to share from our heart and there will be people who disagree. There is a place for disagreement in every discussion and I believe that if I share something that everyone agrees with then I probably have not been bold enough in what I said. As a leader we cannot be expected to please everyone with what we share and what is on our heart.

Kara and I are going to continue to share what God puts on our hearts when and where he calls us to share it. I want to make it clear that whatever it is that Kara and I may share is straight from our heart and would only be shared with God's nudging because most of these topics are very painful reminders of how stupid we have been and mistakes that we have made in our past. We strive everyday to learn from the past and to move forward in the lessons God has taught us.

I pray that Kara and I can be an encouragement and or blessing to at least one person through what we have experienced and the mistakes we have made. I also look forward to learning from all of you in the mistakes that you have made so we can grow together. We are a community, a church and a family and as such there will be times when we disagree and times when we agree but I pray that no matter which side you may fall on that we always seek to love and learn from each other without personal attacks.

I do not know if there will be any more writings from Kara. I have left that decision up to her because she needs to be at a point where she feels comfortable and safe in sharing her heart. I know that there are many of you that she has shared her heart with in one on one conversation and you can feel comfortable that she will continue to do so. I pray that she will continue to walk in what God has placed on her heart and that her heart will be a blessing to someone.

Asking for Grace,
Joe Becker