To Church or not to Church

I have struggled for the past year and a half on the issue of attending church. It is not a question of whether it is important or not but rather the questions of where, why and what.

Where should I attend? My wife and I attended Vineyard churches from 1995 until 2006. During this time I came to a deeper understanding of the function and purpose of church. I attending school through the Vineyard and became a Pastor. All of this lead to us joining a church that was joining the Vineyard Association and we felt called to partner with them in the process. 2 years later we leave the church, amongst disagreements with the leadership, and it still was not a Vineyard (in name or function). This was in January of 08 and I have yet to go back to church. There have been several occurrences (that we'll save for another blog) that lead to me feeling rejected by the church as a whole. Where do I go now? The other Vineyards in the area are lead by men I have great respect for but there is no need for my services there and / or calling for me to go. I can't bring myself to go to a church of another denomination because of how rigid and programmatic they tend to be. Not sure what to do.

Why go to church? I don't believe in attending church just to be able to say you went. I don't believe in compromising my understanding and beliefs of what church should be so that I can feel comfortable attending. I can't attend somewhere that I could not see myself serving in some capacity. So why attend? I want to attend because I feel a calling to the vision, mission and ministry of the church. I want to feel like I could, if needed, step up and serve in the ministry of the church. I want to attend where I am proud to be part of the body and not hesitant about telling others of it. There are many good reasons to go to church but I want to be part of church, contribute to church and be a representative of the church. Why go to church when we are the church? I want to be part of a community that concerns itself more with being the church rather than going to church.

What is church supposed to be? A building, a program, a social club, a closed in group, a ministry of politics or a cultural status measurement. I look forward to the church that proclaims and lives out resisting all these things. The church needs to be relevant to the culture it serves in such ways that it doesn't define itself by the building or programs it runs. The church needs to resist temptation to close its doors to outsiders so that it keeps its members safe. The church is not a tool for developing good cultural images or a social club that doesn't produce fruit. The church needs to prohibit leadership or influence through political maneuvering that is of no benefit to the mission of the church.

I may have unrealistic expectations of what to expect out of church but I have seen what church should and could be and will accept nothing less any more. I will not compromise my understanding of church just to attend church. To church or not to church is not the question. The question, for churches, is "To be The Church or not be The Church?"